Funny Running Quotes

Find funny running quotes from famous runners and funny personalities can be found right here. 

The list is in alphabetical order. If you don't find what you are looking for, check the other quotes and slogans on tips4running.

1. Famous Runner's Quotes

2. Motivational quotes

3. Cross country running quotes

4. Marathon quotes

5. Great Running slogans to print on your next Team T-Shirt.

Funny Running Quotes

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.
- Neil Armstrong

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
- Milton Berle

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
- Erma Bombeck

There is no such thing as bad weather, just soft people.
- Bill Bowerman

I think people can handle 150 to 200 miles a week. But something has to give somewhere. If he's a student, how's he going to study? He may be at the age of chasing and courtship, and that's an important form of sport and recreation, too.
- Bill Bowerman

I've always felt that long, slow distance produces long, slow runners.
- Sebastian Coe

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run.
- Jumbo Elliott

I'm going to go out a winner if I have to find a high school race to win my last race.
- Johnny Gray

Life is short... running makes it seem longer.
- Baron Hansen

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second.
- William James

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.
- Franklin Jones

If I am still standing at the end of the race, hit me with a board and knock me down, because that means I didn’t run hard enough.
- Steve Jones

Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, "Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?"
- Peter Maher

If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken Him completely by surprize.
- P. Z. Pearce

I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I've been really lucky. I didn't have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.
- Ryan Reynolds

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
- Will Rogers

It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him.
- Mike Royko

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
- Rita Rudner

You have to forget your last marathon before you try another. Your mind can't know what's coming.
- Frank Shorter

If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it.
- Gene Thibeault

The faster you run, the faster you're done.
- Steve Tiefenthaler

It hurts real bad, yet they say that it's good for you.
- Tom Tiefenthaler

It hurts up to a point and then it doesn't get any worse.
- Ann Trason

I love running cross country....On a track, I feel like a hamster.
- Robin Williams

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
- Victoria Wood

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
- Unknown

Know any funny running quotes? Share them below!

Return from the Funny Running Quotes article to the Tips4Running Homepage This article was written by David Tiefenthaler, the founder and main contributor for In addition to running, he's also an author, and a full time teacher.

You can follow David on Twitter @Tiefsa or visit his blog


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